By Ali Datko
The Decade of the Housewife sounds like an era likely to produce a smorgasbord of delicious, mouthwatering meals, no? Well, no. 1950’s households were more often driven by experimental advertisers — Palmolive soap for a clear complexion, anyone? — and less often by anything that resembled common sense.
If you haven’t eaten lunch yet, take a look at these unforgettably regrettable recipes from the ’50s.
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1. Lime Cheese Salad
A list of retro Americana’s greatest regrets that didn’t include Jell-O would be nothing short of blasphemous. Gelatin was a kitchen staple in the ’50s, convenient enough to ease a busy housewife’s burden and firm enough to safely encase a cottage-cheese-mayonnaise-seafood salad.
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2. Meal-in-a-Mould
The title says it all — that is, if you like chasing dinner with a glass of prune juice. But wait! This from-a-can “summer meal” is wildly convenient, and as the recipe boasts: “every ingredient can be kept indefinitely … at home or summer cottage.”
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3. Unappealing Ways to Drink Soda Pop
Steaming-hot Dr. Pepper with lemon? 7-Up with milk for a “delicious blended food drink”? The 50s sure knew how to dress up a sugary, carbonated beverage — just don’t stir it, because THAT could ruin the flavor.
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4. Armour Star Appetizer Meats
Nothing says, “Welcome to our home” quite like an edible centerpiece of spreadable potted meat snacks arranged around an open flame. “Truly gourmet,” the copywriter states, in a tone that we can only assume sounds like tongue-in-cheek disdain.
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5. Liver Sausage Pineapple
Roll one pound of liver sausage into an oblong sphere. Cover with frosting made from unflavored gelatin and mayonnaise. Apply olive slices to the sticky, yellow membrane. Top with real pineapple leaves, because that makes sense.
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